lithium bullets
by stars.everlasting
Summary: SasuSaku anthology. 03: monochrome. White is her world, black is his. Pure and tainted, ebony and ivory, they wish to break free of the monochrome.
1. 01: paradox

**Kari: HEY! I know I should be updating my NaruHina anthology…but I'm working on it, I swear! Since I'm in the mood for anthologies, I'm starting a SasukSaku one too.**

**Sasuke: And just when I thought you would leave me alone…and stick with Naruto…**

**Kari: *frowns* See, this is why I like Itachi better.**

**Itachi: *flashes sparkly smile***

**Sasuke: I-you-what-**

**Itachi: Face it, ototou, I **_**am**_** better than you.**

**Sasuke: …*goes to emo corner***

**Kari: *sweatdrops* Okay, I'm not going to bore you with any more distractions, so, let's hear the disclaimer!**

**Itachi: Angelwings12 does not own Naruto.**

**Kari: And here we go! Enjoy!**

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**So I suddenly woke up at 3:30 AM one morning with this one word: paradox. Then came: SasuSaku! And this story was born.~ :D Hope you guys like it! I need at least three reviews to update.**

**I might be a little slow in updating, 'cause family's coming over for Christmas. But I promise I'll update by January 3rd. Until then, take care, everyone! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!**

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~lithium bullets~

-p. a. r. a. d. o. x.-

They're a paradox.

They're polar opposites, alien natures, but mostly, they're a paradox.

He is Hate. He is Death. He is Revenge.

He's so twisted (_sosobeautifullytwisted_) that he doesn't hesitate to _kill_ her. His heart has been ripped out and replaced with stone, and no matter how much she hopes (_such a foolish thing, hope, so very foolish_), he will never love.

Never again.

He is the embodiment of Darkness.

She, on the other hand, is his other half. She is Love. She is Life. She is Redemption, holding her arms out wide and giving him countless chances to _run into them_.

She is so crystal-clear, that she is willing to throw away her status, her village, her friends, her family, her _life,_ all for his sake. She knows that his heart is of stone, but she continues hoping (_such a foolish thing_), that he will one day love.

One day.

She is the embodiment of Light.

They exist side-by-side against Uchiha Madara. They protect each other during the Fourth Ninja War. Love and Hate, Life and Death, Revenge and Redemption mold together to create a perfect being as they kiss.

They defy the laws of nature, smash the barriers of shinobi and reduce the walls of the orthodox to rubble as Sasuke and Sakura walk hand-in-hand towards their sunshine, who greets them with an enthusiastic yell.

The fates are astounded, the world is agape, yet God mercifully allows this one pair of souls to survive in harmony.

They completely break the rules when, together, they have a child, a perfect being, who is neither black nor white, but instead shades of gray.

Together, they are Yin and Yang. They are polar opposites. They are Darkness and Light. They are alien natures.

They are a paradox, yes…

But they are a beautiful one.

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**There we go! I enjoyed writing this...to tell you the truth, I finished this withing ten minutes...so, yeah :P Criticism is appreciated! Review please, and Ita-kun will give you a cookie. Have a great Christmas, everyone!**


	2. 02: falling like stars

**Back again, I am. To update my anthology. Hold the applause, please. XD**

**I know I haven't updated this in forever, but I just kept fussing over this ficlet...so... And yes, I am still working on my NaruHina anthology and my time-travel fic. They should be out soon. (I am shamelessly publicizing my works here. Ignore it. Or, read my fics. Except a few. Ah, I think I should shut up now.)**

**Anyway, nice little thing, this. Comes pretty close to my heart. Read and enjoy.**

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.stars.

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i.

the first time my heart stopped, it was when i saw your smile.

"Hi!"

He looks up and stares at her, taking in the cotton-candy pink hair, the red ribbon holding it back, the mud-splattered dress, the sparkling green eyes and that _ohso_ exuberant smile.

Beaming, she continues, "My name's Sakura, what's yours?"

He doesn't know why, but he smiles back shyly and responds, "Sasuke."

"Great!" she laughs. "Wanna help me build a sandcastle?" She gestures to the muddy sandbox a few feet away.

"_Ridiculous_," his father's voice echoes. "_You are an Uchiha, you do not play, you train."_

He wants to please him so much, to turn away and continue practicing the fireball justsu, but something about that annoyingly happy face of hers (even back then, she annoyed him) makes him grin and take her hand and then, they walk to the sandbox together.

She looks towards him and smiles that breathtaking smile again, saying, "Thanks, Sasuke! I'm sure our sandcastle will be great!"

His heart stops, just for a second.

Nodding wildly, he replies, "Yeah, it will!"

_He's just a little boy, he deserves to have fun._

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ii.

you were always there for me, weren't you?

Nervously fidgeting as she enters the classroom, she looks around to find a familiar face, someone to sit with. She spots Ino, but her best friend is already sitting with a girl named Chiharu.

Biting her lip, she finds that nearly everyone she's friends with is _taken_: they all have a partner. As Iruka comes in and asks everyone to take their seats, she starts panicking and tears begin to form in her emerald eyes, blurring her vision.

She thinks she is doomed, until she hears a familiar voice softly call out, "Sakura!"

Whipping her head up, she finds Sasuke smiling at her and patting the empty seat next to him.

Tears drying, she gives him a full-blown smile and runs to sit with him.

_It's safe to say they're both happy with this arrangement._

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iii.

the day my heart broke, you were there to pick up the pieces and try to fix it.

She hears about the massacre from her mother, who shakes her head and clucks her tongue in sympathy.

Waves of sadness rush through her, as she runs out into the street in search of her friend. "Sasuke!" she calls, running through the park, the academy, the village square, anywhere, _anywhere_ she can find him.

She finally discovers him sitting slumped under a tree in the training field, eyes blank and face empty. Taking it in her hands, she cradles his face in her two tiny, soft palms and gently kisses his forehead. Then, she encircles his broken form and cries.

It isn't long before he finally shatters and cries along with her.

_She's all he has left._

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iv.

why have we grown so far apart? is it because of these feelings i have within my heart, these feelings i don't understand?

He can't understand why she's suddenly become one of _them_, a useless fangirl who cared only about her looks. Little does he know that it's the fact that she's confused, and that she feels lost, that's causing her to act this way. She just doesn't know what to do or who she is anymore.

She knows he wants revenge, and though she's already tried to convince him that it's not going to bring his family back, she finally understands.

She feels that she's going to get in the way. She's withdrawing into her shell again.

She wants him to achieve his goal and be happy. She wants him to be _free._

It's something he will never understand.

_This is where his heart's love and hope and happiness ends, and this is where her inferiority, her heartbreak, her despair, begins._

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v.

but by the time i realized what you were to me, honey, you were already gone.

She can't help but cry when she wakes up hopeful on that cold, stone bench, hoping he's changed his mind and has waited throughout the night for her to wake, and finds that instead, she is woken up by two strangers and that he isn't there.

Later that night, remembering, _"I'm so in love with you I can't even stand it!"_ and the soft, sorrowfully (_ohsosorrowfullyhe'ssocold,butwhy?_) cold reply of, _"Sakura, thank you.", _ the tears start again.

_She has a family, yes, but he's her world, and now that he's gone, it's her turn to shatter._

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vi.

can't you see, that i'm becoming stronger and stronger, just to save you from yourself?

As a result, she drowns herself in training.

Every single day, she trains from dawn to dusk, blocking, punching, kicking and collecting her chakra into her fist and her feet. She wants to create craters and earthquakes, she wants the ground to shatter from simply keeping her smallest finger on it. She wants to be strong, like her shishou, she wants people to gape in awe at her monstrous strength.

Every single night, she doesn't sleep, she learns. She learns the workings of the human body, about kidneys and livers and the brain. She learns about the heart and how the direction of flow of chakra differs from person to person. She learns about the six vital killing points (it'll come in handy one day, she thinks). She wants to _save lives_, though, just like Tsunade-shishou and Shizune, so that people will stare in wonder at how effortlessly she rescues people from the brink of death.

She wants to be acknowledged, so she trains endlessly for days on end. No food, no water, just _air_.

She's becoming stronger not just for him see, but so that she can save her friends' lives and kill countless enemies with the same hand.

_She's hoping that this time, it will be __**her**__ turn to protect __**him**__._

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vii.

i want to save you. i love you so much. why, why won't you look at me and see what i can give you? that i can _heal_ you?

"Sakura," a voice calls. She snaps her head up at _that voice_, now a deep, smooth baritone, as it mockingly beckons her to see it.

She can't help but stare at him when they _finallyfinally_ meet again. She can't believe that he's gotten so strong training under _that snake bastard _, and now, she knows that it's time to prove herself to him, to show that after three years, she can cause earthquakes and break bones and heal them and save lives with one hand.

It doesn't go as planned. He's too strong, and as they lock gazes, she panting, and him standing without even a trace of exhaustion on his face, she can feel his words dancing around her in circles, even though he doesn't utter a single one.

_Weak_, the words taunt. _You're still so __**weak**_.

_After all this time, it turns out that she's still the useless little girl he thought her to be._

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viii.

i still refuse to believe that you don't have a heart anymore. i know that somewhere, deep inside, you still care.

She's made up her mind. _She_ will be the one to kill him, no one else, only _her_. Even if it kills her in the process, she will do it.

She doesn't want Naruto to die fighting him, so she's tries convincing him not to go, by stating that she loves him. Naruto's blue eyes betray his emotions. _Liar_, they whisper. _You loved Sasuke all these years, and you still do. _

As she comes face to face with _him_ again, she says that she will join him. He orders her to kill a tied-up Karin with eyes that are so filled with hate and rage and loathing, she can't help but wonder where the little boy who played with her in the sandbox went.

Before she can move to kill Karin, and then kill Sasuke, a flash of yellow zips by, whisking her in its arms. She looks up to see Naruto glaring behind him, and sees Sasuke clenching his usheathed sword in mild frustration.

He was going to kill her. The very fact proves to her how far he's fallen.

Later, she learns truth, the reason Itachi Uchiha killed his family, the reason why he couldn't bring himself to kill his beloved otouto.

It's quite ironic, she thinks to herself, that both she and Itachi couldn't kill him because they loved him too much. He was going to kill them both in the end, wasn't he?

_He's gone now, that little boy who played with her in the sandbox. She wonders still if that little boy will ever, __**ever**__ come back._

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ix.

maybe you will never be what you used to be, but for you, darling, i'm willing to try and find out.

With the Fourth Ninja War raging on, she comes across him once again. He has his brother's eyes with him, the Mangyekou Sharingan spinning hypnotically in them.

She's ready. This time, she will bring him down, whatever it takes. She's been training hard for this very encounter, and this time, he's not the only one she wants to save. With her blond, blue-eyed best friend and his smiling face imprinted in her mind, she charges forward.

The battle they fight is heated, she having finally matched him in power. Memories trickle through her brain as she delivers blow after blow after blow.

She even escapes from Tsukiyomi and dodges the black flames of Amaterasu. He can't believe that the weak little girl from his childhood has become so strong.

For the first time, he sees her as an equal.

Their battle is cut short by an unidentified blade hurtling towards him with great speed. Before he can react and slip out of harm's way, sheer instinct has driven her to transport in front of him and take the blade through her stomach.

As her blood spatters across his face, he _finallyfinally_ realizes what she's been trying to tell him for years.

The medical team then reported Uchiha Sasuke bursting through the tents with a heavily bleeding Haruno Sakura in his arms.

_She was right, the little boy she knew, even if only a small fraction, was still there, somewhere._

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x.

is this the end? i don't know. even if it is, i will always, always love you.

The war's ended. Naruto's killed Uchiha Madara and has successfully dragged his "bastard of a best friend" back home.

He's not the same, though. Broken and bleeding, he wakes up to a white room that smells of antibiotics and antiseptic. The sheets are starched and itchy, and the smell of hospital drives him crazy.

Naruto's the first to burst through his room, in all his orange glory (he still can't understand how the Hyuuga girl fell in love with the dobe in the first place). Excited, his best friend tells him that all he has to do is a year of community service and six months without chakra. After that, Team 7 will be reinstated, the blond boy beams.

After the ramen-obsessed boy leaves, he is left to his thoughts. He's no longer a happy little boy anymore, he muses. He's a man who will never be the same again. What was he going to do now? All the elders and Madara had been taken care of. What had become of Hebi, he didn't know. He was lost.

She hasn't visited him, he notices. Is he imagining the flash of pink hair just before a needle pokes his arm and he falls asleep? He never finds out.

_Now, lost as he is, all he dreams about is __**her**__._

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zero.

let's start over, shall we?

One day when he wakes up, a soft "Hi," greets him as he sits up.

He looks to his side and stares at her, taking in the cotton-candy pink hair, the red hitai-ate holding it back, the immaculate white lab coat, the sparkling green eyes, and that _ohso_ soft and gentle smile.

He doesn't know why, but his heart flutters slightly, the ice around it melting. He should be emotionless, stoic, and as much as he wants to be that, something about that annoying happy face of hers (even now, she annoys him), makes his eyes soften and his mouth curve upwards in a tiny smile for the first time in _years_, as he gruffly says, "Tadaima, Sakura."

A tiny part of his brain yells at him for being so weak and open, but it's pushed away when he sees her reaction, and he decides it's worth it, as his healing begins.

That _ohso_ exuberant smile of hers returns to her face, and, emerald orbs shining with unshed tears, she whispers ecstatically, "Okaeri, Sasuke-kun. Okaeri."

_They're free now. They've been given a second chance._

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_~fin.~_

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**Okay. The ending sucked, in my opinion. I am _not at all happy_ with ix and x. To be honest, zero is my most favorite. If you think Sasuke's OOC in this, I agree with you. He's kinda hard to write. :/ Believe me, I've spent many a sleepless night working on this thing, so I tried. Maybe I should try writing more fics in Sasuke's POV for practice_?_ **

**How many of you guys have read the latest Rock Lee: Springtime of Youth chapter? O_o It makes for a good laugh, though. **

**And the newest Naruto chapter is OUT! Go to mangastream . com (remove the spaces) to read it. I fully expected Naruto to go ballistic when he found out there's a war going on because of him. XD My predictions come true once again! XD~ It was total epicness, this latest chapter. (I have no idea why I'm speaking like something out of Star Wars. Maybe it was the chocolate I just ate.)**

**Okay then. I'll stop talking, and Naruto will magically appear in your room if you review. He will also scream "DATTEBAYO!" in your ear and then proceed to raid your room in search of ramen. I am not kidding. BELIEVE IT!**


	3. 03: monochrome

**It's me again. :D**

**This little thing, to be honest, annoyed me. The ending is crap, excuse it. :P**

**I am very sleep deprived. Try sleeping at 3 in the morning every day and waking up at 5:30 and you'll know what I mean. I EHS DEAAAAAAAD. Bleeaaaurgh.**

**Anyway, you should know that I will randomly be updating everything. Works are still in progress, and being the crazy perfectionist I am, it will take a while. Bear with me, people.**

**So, enjoy this. As usual, I don't own Naruto. If I did, Itachi would strip for us. XD**

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In her world, everything is white.

There is snow everywhere, and Sakura sits in a _whitewhite_ dress, in a _whitewhite_ chair and stares out the clear window at the innocent little snowflakes that fall, so innocently pure that it seems ludicrous that something so taintless and lucid can even afford to exist, but this is Sakura's white, white world, and it is here that purity reigns.

She herself is not completely white, her roseate locks and chartreuse orbs in stark contrast to her vanilla skin, but this is her achromatic reality, and Sakura is this realm's sovereign.

Sometimes, she longs for _color_, for something to break this monotonous existence, for something other than white to shatter her barriers and take her to a land where the rays of the sun and the color of the sky and the ground is not the ivory she sees, but is an anthology of tinctures she cannot find words to describe. Sometimes, she longs for inconstant things, for fickle and fleeting moments, for something she can grasp and adumbrate in her heart, so that her monochrome no longer is one.

But only sometimes.

Sakura is afraid. She is afraid that she is so fragile and delicate and _whitewhitewhite _that she will crumble if she steps into the world of color. She is afraid that her innocent existence will be _tainted_, and that she will never be able to return to her frosted sanctuary, the very one which protects her from impurity.

She is afraid of meeting _that man_, who appears in her dreams, the man with the spiky black hair and the blood red eyes, who whispers her name in a smooth baritone in a voice that is devoid of emotion. There is occasionally a hyperactive blond man in an orange suit as well, but it is always the indifferent one who makes her wake up crying.

She is afraid of memories.

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In his world, everything is black.

There is darkness everywhere, and Sasuke is dressed in a _blackblack_ outfit, sitting in a _blackblack_ chair and glances out the clear window at the black leaves that fall, so hauntingly scarred that it is preposterous that something so corrupt and blighted can even afford to exist, but this is Sasuke's black, black world and it is here that impurity reigns.

He himself is not completely black, his alabaster skin and occasionally crimson orbs in stark contrast to the obsidian that surrounds him, but this is his atramentous reality, and Sasuke is this realm's sovereign.

Sometimes, he longs to break free of his monotonous existence of ink and onyx, for something that would take him to a land where color roamed free and the sky and ground and trees and things are not ebony, but a dysfunction of spectral wonder. Sometimes, he longs for changeable things, for recherché and flimsy moments, for something he could quietly take and lock away in what little is left of his heart, so that his monochrome no longer is one.

But only sometimes.

Sasuke is afraid. He is afraid that he is so unbreakable and cynical and _blackblackblack_ that he will destroy the world of color he steps in. He is afraid that his nefarious existence will taint everything else, and that the entire world will become his shadowed sanctuary, the very one which withholds him from defiling every little thing.

He is afraid of meeting _that woman_, who appears in his dreams, the woman with the short pink hair and the sparkling green eyes, who says his name in a sweet melody that is filled with laughter and smiles and happiness and love. There is occasionally a hyperactive blond man in an orange suit as well, but it is always the annoying one who makes him wake up with a dull ache in his chest.

He is afraid of memories.

* * *

And then, before they know it, they are pulled back into reality, leaving the monochrome and entering the rainbow, and they remember _Sasuke_ and _Sakura_ and _Naruto_ and _Kakashi_ and _everything _and they both face the cold verity of war.

And Naruto's fighting Uchiha Madara and Kakashi is out there fighting as well, and Sakura and Sasuke stand on opposite sides.

She charges at him with a chakra covered fist (_nomorewhite_) and he calmly gathers a Chidori in his hand (_nomoreblack_) and they rush towards each other with fury on one side and no emotion on the other.

As they come closer and closer, Sakura contemplates on how orange and blue and pink and green and black and red and silver made up her world, and that she will be the one to finally free her beloved Sasuke-kun. As they come closer and closer, Sasuke contemplates on how black and red, with orange and blue and pink and green and silver the colors that spontaneously appeared and faded had once made up a portion of his charcoal world, and that maybe, he would finally go _home_.

_I wish for another life_, they both think. _One where you and I can live the life we dreamed of._

Ebony is the last color she sees, his eyes showing one tiny spark of white, of purity.

Viridian is the last color he sees, her eyes showing one tiny spark of black, tainted.

And then, the spectrum breaks, and gives way to a new monochrome.

(_Red and brick and crimson and carmine and cerise and cherry and vermillion and scarlet and coral and ruby and red red red_)_  
_

Blood.

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**Right. Crap ending. Bleaurgh.**

**So the first two parts are supposed to be Sakura's and Sasuke's souls. It's twisted and complicated, I know. Eh.**

**Did you know lack of sleep can kill you? That's... O_o Wow. I am going to die young. (Just kidding. I'll live to be 83! Or something. I'm delirious.)**

**Okay, press the enticing blue button with the white arrow, and Itachi will show up in your room and will strip for you. Or he'll just gift you an Icha Icha Paradise volume he got from Kakashi as a birthday present. Ignore the dog-eared pages. Itachi will also tell you he did not read it, and if you insist that he was the owner of the dog-eared porn, he will Amaterasu your ass.**

**Buh-bye, people. I'm going to sleep. (With my fuzzy pajamas on! Ah, fuzz.)**


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